Anyone for a turkey enema?

As the new year rolls into action I have been working with Sebastian, my personal trainer, to tone and shape my body. He is a very helpful young man, I must say.

I am determined that this year I will eat more healthily and reduce my carbon footprint in 2020. Perhaps a few less flights, and a few more vegetables are in order. Don’t you think it is important to enjoy a healthy amount of fresh fruit in your diet?

Last night it was a delightful surprise to be invited to a cocktail party held by a friend of Sebastian’s sister, Rainbow. While Rainbow is a certified carrot crunching yoga hippie, some of her yoga clients are quite unusual people. It was pleasant to be invited to one of their parties at a very exclusive address and I was interested to see how it would work out. After all, it can be exhausting having parties with Sylvester, Ali and Amanda, that often disintegrate into mayhem and occasionally someone being tied up and abandoned naked in a public park at 3 am. I suppose this is what you get for associating with people who need to have their back shaved periodically — and that’s just Amanda. How nice it would be to meet some people of quality.

By the time I had got dressed and ready I must say I really did look quite spectacular, if a little overdressed. Nonetheless, it’s nice to go over the top now and then.