Check out my bush!

As we enter spring, and one or two of my friends begin enjoy the unseasonably fine weather, I cannot help but remember pleasant thoughts of summers in the sun. Indeed one particular incident comes to mind.

It had been a hard day in the advertising agency, but I was returning home a little early to enjoy the afternoon sun in the garden. The bees were buzzing and my neighbour Marjory was absent mindedly humming a tune as she trimmed her bush.

I’d been explaining to young Nigel in the creative department that while helping an author who shall remain nameless, but who uses a wheelchair and a voice synthesizer, to promote his book about the cosmos, it might not be appropriate to say that when he gives talks about his latest book, that people should come early “as space is limited”.

When I had pulled into my driveway I’d noticed my wife’s friend (and my nemesis) Amanda’s car in the drive. She sometimes drops by and sunbathes in the garden as it is so tranquil.

Few sights can be more disturbing than Amanda, my wife’s hideous friend, in a two piece bathing suit. It was this unsettling image that greeted me when I arrived home that afternoon following a photoshoot with Bernard at the advertising agency.

There she was lurking in our back garden, trying to tan her body, in much the same way that if you leave a piece of…