Clothes Maketh The Man — Part 25.

I got up the following morning with a spring in my step, and the happy thoughts that I’d dodged a major disaster with Devina the previous night. With several tons of concrete hardening over her ridiculous chihuahua, and her none the wiser, I felt pretty positive about life.

True my girlfriend was a lying lesbian bitch, and there was the small matter of ongoing blackmail, I had a group of business partners who were using me as a sex object, but other than that, who amongst us is without a cross to bare?

As I left my apartment I was bathed in spring sunshine. I walked along the water by Esplanade Park when my cell rang and Steve started talking excitedly.

“Steve, chill! It’s a lovely spring morning. Relax.”

“What?” he said.

“Steve, it’s a spectacular day. Have you seen the sunshine?”

“Are you on something?” he replied. “It’s not like you to be this relaxed.”

“Oh, Steve,” I replied trying to sound as condescending as possible. “It’s a beautiful world out here. You should take a walk — enjoy the fresh air. I really feel Chicago never looks as good as it does in the spring. Don’t you agree?”

“Yeah, whatever,” he replied. “You should take a taxi to the airport.”