My husband died not knowing I had learned his secret.

Just because I was his wife didn’t mean I didn’t want Jeff to get girly sometimes. I don’t think he ever realised I knew all about his little secret. He never suspected that I had created it.

I should explain. I only started seeing him because I liked his sister. That didn’t come to much, and Jeff never knew about that, either. In fact, as I think back to it, Jeff didn’t know much about anything.

Fortunately he did know enough to buy life insurance, which is why now that he is a pile of ash drifting across the rose garden at the cemetery, and I’ll be visiting the car dealership in town later and selecting a new vehicle. Imagine, a heart attack, and barely 53 years old. Well, perhaps he should have been more attentive to his needs. And mine come to that.

I’m sure he would have been less stressed if he’d just enjoyed putting on a nice dress now and then, instead of hiding it. Instead of being ashamed of it.

I blame myself, though. I probably should have been more accepting, and not teased him so much. Yes, I do like to tease. Well, I suppose it was a little more than that.

I suspected he liked to dress up after I noticed some of my underwear missing. It would disappear and then reappear a few days later. Stretched. It was very annoying. If he’d only asked I would have got him a few nice pairs of panties, maybe some other bits and pieces too.

As it was, I stumbled across little clues now and then, though nothing quite so obvious that merited me confronting him. Besides, if he found a little pleasure in that why should I deny him it? And it’s not as if I don’t have one or two secrets of my own.

There was one night though, when we’d got ourselves into a swingers party, when I think he revealed his true nature. I’d been massaged by a group of men, and satisfied prodigiously, when I went to find him. He’s a slight man, so in a group he is not always easiest to find. That was why at first I didn’t even see him.

It was in one of the rooms off the main one, and I entered, then turned to leave…