Sylvester’s giant erection.

“It took three of use, heaving and panting and sweating to get my erection up,” said Sylvester, my mechanic, sitting at my kitchen table and sipping tea from my finest bone china. Like many of my best friends he just appears in my kitchen sometimes. Like a big sweaty mechanic genie.

“I’m sure it did,” I said sympathetically. “Now, just tell me again, this ‘erection’, what is that again?”

“It’s the new sign outside my store. Really beautiful, big and shiny. People can see it for miles.”

“I don’t doubt it, “ I said, my imagination reeling.

“That’s when I did it.”

“You did?” I said, surprised. “In the parking lot?”

“My back! It’s bloody agony!” He clutched his lower lumbar region and winced.

“Poor Sylvester!” I was at my most sympathetic. When an enormous erection goes all wrong I know how difficult things can be. It can get out of hand very swiftly.

“So, I wondered, maybe you could…”

“Sylvester, I am telling you for the very last time! What goes on between you, your boys and your big shiny erection really is your business and I really don’t want to come between you!”

“No! I’m trying to ask, do you know a good chiropractor to help with my back?”