The Crossdresser’s Workplace Phrasebook — Part 4.

Part 4. (Find part 1 here).

I’d just got in from a heavy night out with the boys from the water utility company, where we’d talked at length about the local dykes. I should explain, my agency looks after the accounts of the water utility, and their marketing team are quite social. Needless to say they account for considerable proportion of my expense claims every month, but being a large and lucrative account this is rarely questioned.

There’s a prodigious mining sector in the west of Canada, and many of the companies have their head office in Vancouver. As a result we have several clients in that sector, and I look after the public relations for one of the major players. I entered my office to find a printout of one of their latest draft press releases on my desk. It was something about the new mining operations in the deep levels of one of the gold mines. I scanned it quickly and then buzzed Julie, my executive assistant. I’m not allowed to call her my secretary, I’m told.

“Julie,” I said into the intercom. “Can you just reword the quote in the second paragraph. “I was so impressed by the shaft that I went down four times,” might be open to misinterpretation.”

I paused for a moment, then said, “On second thoughts leave it in.”

These deep level mines are a lot less fun than they sound. It’s good to throw the investors a bone now and then, I suppose.

I turned my attention to the job of annoying Brenda, the human resources manager. I was about to draft a short memo explaining that she’d be expected to provide a police security check before completion of her probationary period. Sure to take a week or two, it would likely push her a step or two closer to the cliff edge.

I do feel that on one’s way up the corporate ladder, one is rather obliged to stand on the shoulders of those that came before. And while doing so to give them a good kick in the ear. I’m sort of old fashioned that way.

Unfortunately I do sometimes feel that at this advertising agency someone kicked over the corporate ladder and we’re all a bit disorientated. The corporate vision appears to be something the senior staff dreamed up after a long weekend on magic mushrooms during one of their many…